Babies are hideous creatures—hateful, disruptive, selfish, loud, filthy, uncoordinated, rude, illiterate, demanding, unpleasant to be around, and awful to behold. This volume details their most distressing shortcomings while offering no solutions. There are none. Babies will be our ruin.
For less than the price of 30 cups of coffee, subscribers receive six illustrated books (or other book-like items) in the mail throughout the year.
Here is the story of the real king of the jungle—in which grandmothers are offended, lions are deposed, diseases are spread, deer are piled in bloody heaps, and forest fires are deliberately started. Also features a duel that ends badly for a bunny. Suitable for certain kinds of children and most adults.
This is the last book you’ll ever need, at least for a while. Thanks to the wonders of the X-Acto knife and some careful editing, the reader will encounter 10,000 tales of triumph and woe—neither more nor less. Most combinations lead to senseless banalities, but nevertheless promise to delight! Or bore! Or infuriate! We dare you not to perspire. Available for PRE-ORDER now, to ship September 24.
Having one child is foolish enough. Having a second is foolish and cruel. Honest, unflinching, and illustrated with Robbi’s underappreciated right hand, here is one child’s uncensored exposé of the demoralizing aftermath of the new baby’s arrival. This book is the perfect punishment for those who have been reckless enough to reproduce twice.
Part satire, part public service announcement, this small volume tells the tragic story of one man’s complete and unambiguous defeat at the hands of his feline companion. Handmade, wire-bound, and perfect for the cat detractor in your life.